From Damrosch:
At the very time
that he struck observers as sadly lacking in self-knowledge, he was
achieving a profoundly original self-analysis whose influence has been
enormous. The Confessions are at once the record of a life, a recreation
of its meaning, and an imaginative space in which the author found re-
lief by recovering what it felt like to be his earlier self. "It's the past," he
wrote at Wootton, "that makes the present bearable."
During the years in Motiers, Rousseau had become aware that others
were discussing details of his life. He received a long anonymous letter
from Geneva that referred to his father's stay in Constantinople and ex-
ile after a street quarrel, his own time at Bossey with the Lamberciers,
his apprenticeship to "a brutal, barbarous master," his flight from Ge-
neva and refuge with la folie de Varrens in Annecy, and his ostentatious
display of feeding "numerous schools of fishes" during his visit in 1754·
Later The Sentiment of the Citizens gave its viciously slanted account of
Rousseau's recent life. He assumed that the information in it came from
Mme d'Epinay (some of it undoubtedly did), and he vowed to clear his
name as well as to exact revenge by giving his own recollections of her
and other ex-friends. Like Augustine, from whom he borrowed his title
(though he never mentions the earlier Confessions), he would acknowl-
edge his sins, but unlike Augustine he would also prove his essential
goodness.
The influence of the Confessions has been so pervasive that it is hard
today to appreciate how original the book really was. To trace formative
experiences, and in particular to take childhood experience seriously,
was virtually unheard-of in Rousseau's day. A few earlier writers had
recounted occasional anecdotes of childhood, but compared with the
Confessions these were thin and unrevealing. When Voltaire drafted an
autobiographical sketch at the end of his long life, he dismissed his early
years with the comment, "Nothing is more insipid than the details of in-
fancy and the time spent at school." As for Diderot, his biographer says
that he was "almost intentionally inscrutable" about his first thirty years
and that he pitied the state of childhood for its helplessness and igno-
rance. When he did mention his early days, it was to congratulate him-
self on precocious brilliance, not to disclose errors and humiliations.
"One of the sweetest moments of my life - it happened more than
thirty years ago and I remember it as though it were yesterday - was
when my father saw me coming home from school with my arms full of
prizes I had won and my shoulders loaded with crowns they had given
me that were too big for my brow and had slipped down over my head
... From the farthest distance that he saw me, he dropped his work,
came to the door, and burst into tears."
Rousseau was well aware that the story of a working-class boy strug-
gling to find himself was in itself unusual. "Many readers will be pre-
vented from continuing by this sole idea. They can't conceive that a
man who needs bread could be worthy of their acquaintance." But that
was the whole point: it was his unusual history that had allowed him to
develop into a challenging and original thinker. However, his outsider
role also explained why people found it so hard to understand him even
after he acquired fame. He had always had a sense of being misunder-
stood, even as a child, and becoming a writer was at first a way of com-
pensating for it. "The course I have chosen," he acknowledged in the
Confessions, "to write and to conceal myself, is precisely the one that has
suited me." But the concealment was all too successful, and he was dis-
covering just how deeply his self-image was threatened by other peo-
ple's perceptions. George Eliot asks, "Who can know how much of his
most inward life is made up of the thoughts he believes other men to
have about him, until that fabric of opinion is threatened by ruin?"
Rousseau's English disaster was a classic illustration of that. So now he
proposed to reveal everything. "I must keep myself constantly before
the reader's eyes, so that he can follow me in all the aberrations of my
heart and all the recesses of my life."
By addressing the reading public rather than the deity, as Augustine
had done, Rousseau was inaugurating a modern confessional mode in
which private secrets are exposed to the largest possible audience. At the
very beginning of the Confessions, indeed, he exclaims with ringing elo-
quence that he is certain God will forgive him:
Let the trumpet of the Last Judgment sound when it likes; 1 will
present myself with this book in hand before the sovereign judge ...
Eternal Being, assemble around me the numberless throng of my
semblables; let them hear my confessions, let them groan at my dis-
graceful actions, let them blush at my wretchedness. But let each of
them reveal his heart with the same sincerity at the foot of your
throne, and then let a single one say, if he dares, "I was better than
that man."
The throng are the readers who had bought Rousseau's books and pre-
sumed to stand in judgment, and he demands that they follow his ex-
ample in telling the truth about their own faults.
It might well seem that such a procedure was no confession at all.
Grimm rather snidely remarked, "If Monsieur Rousseau were ever to
become pope, he would delete penitence from the list of the seven sacra-
ments," and another writer saw even the most shaming revelations as
self-serving: "He seems to have formed the plan of depicting himself in
the mire in order to show that he escaped from it. There is a kind of
vanity in saying, 'I was nothing and 1 became famous; 1 was a liar and I
chose the motto vitam impendere vero.'" As Blake trenchantly put it long
afterward, "The book written by Rousseau called his Confessions is an
apology and cloak for his sin and not a confession." But even if Rous-
seau denied other people's right to judge him, he never stopped judg-
ing himself. Un appeasable guilt for actions long past - the abandoned
children, the stolen ribbon -lay at the heart of the Confessions. Rous-
seau got rid of original sin and held that man is naturally good, but
much of his own behavior remained bafflingly bad, and when he set out
to penetrate the inner darkness he invented modern autobiography. He
probably believed at first that by reviewing his life he could explain
clearly who he was and why. But the more he probed his recollections,
the more he was brought to a halt by incidents that made no sense and
yet seemed profoundly significant. And although he was convinced that
he possessed an essential integrity to which he must be true, he was
forced to acknowledge, as he says when narrating his encounter with
Mme de Larnage during the journey to Montpellier, "There are times
when 1 seem so little like myself that one would take me for another
man of completely opposite character."
Montaigne, Rousseau's great predecessor in self-analysis, pursued an
intellectual quest, with a genial skepticism and the motto Que sais-je,
"What do I know?" Rousseau's quest was more visceral, as Trousson
says: "the anguished and contradictory 'Who am I?' of modern con-
sciousness." Pondering the strange vicissitudes of his life, Rousseau
came to believe that he was most himself when he was acting most
unpredictably. He repeatedly tells of moments that he describes with
words like "caprice," "intoxication," "extravagance," "delirium," and
"madness," moments that are pressure points in what Marcel Raymond
calls "a psychology of rupture and discontinuity." Instead of singling
out typical episodes, he focuses on atypical ones, strange and unsettling
occasions when he seemed to act totally out of character and yet was
profoundly himself. It is as if his true and deepest self is released by
these ruptures, like volcanic vents.
There is a double perspective throughout the Confessions, and the
tension between the two angles of vision gives it a kind of stereoscopic
depth. On the one hand, Rousseau never abandoned his conviction of a
fundamental core of self. But on the other hand, he understood that the
self is profoundly shaped by life experiences. To probe the ones that
seemed most hauntingly peculiar became his method for finding out
who he was, and in seeking to detect hidden patterns in them he was
starting out on a path that would lead eventually to psychoanalysis.